So I am going home for the first time since I have been out west in August. Thats nearly five months. There are so many different things flooding through my mind.
The work I've been doing out here has not only kept me busy, but kept me sane and living a healthier, harder working life. I have had so many good experiences out here, at the same time I have been sincerely challanged in regards to my physical self and how much I have had to push myself mentally in order to do that physical work. At times I really feel so worn out, and then its other times that I need to remind myself how so much of my physical limits are everything I've ever been told about how I cannot do something but really really should.
I have also met some really great people out here. I am making new friends in a situation where I didn't necessarily think that I was capable of. When I first started it felt as though I was 15 all over again, and scared and shy and timid, though I quickly broke that away and now I'm all the better for it.
When I made the decision to come out here, I wasn't quite sure about leaving all of the activist work I had done over the past 6 years. All of the hours of volunteering I spent working in the Portland community with social activism, I felt like I might just be leaving it behind. However, being out here, recognizing the work that I am doing and the people I work with are doing, I realize now that this is activism and this is doing something, but a different kind than I am familiar with. Maybe I didn't quite recognize how seriously in need we are for environmental change.
So I'm headed home now for the next 8 or so days, and already I'm counting until when I come back, but this might have something to do with a new lady in my life. But I am excited and nervous to go home and see my friends and family. I think there is always the fear that things can never be the same once they've been altered. I'm sure things will be okay, but I am not going to lie and say I'm not that nervous.
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